I kept a tight grasp on my phone, refreshing it every 5 minutes.
I keep anxiously rereading my first message. Did I say too much? Did I not say enough? Did my words defeat the reader on the other side of the screen?
I try to distract myself, but the phone is stuck to my hand as if I had glued it there. No amount of TV, reading, or homework can steer my mind away from that message.
Its like I have a one track mind: My message. What did I say again? Embarrassment washes over me when I am reminded. Time message sent vs. time elapsed since I hit the send button. What will they say? What will they say.. what will they say…
All the possibilities of what could be said run through my brain- the good, the bad, and the ugly stuff. I prepare myself for the worst possible outcome, but secretly hope for the best. Which makes me think: what is the outcome I desire?
The outcome I desire doesn’t matter.
Still no response.
Time is forced to go on. The sun wakes me up then tries to put me to sleep, but the moon is what’s there for me when it gets dark.
I look at my night companion and wonder why the clouds always seem to cover the glistening of the stars.
This cycle is on repeat for days.